At my first job out of undergrad in D.C., I was incredibly blessed to work with Dave and Ben. These two guys who sat in the cubicles next to me have remained two of my closest friends for the last seven years. My work time with Ben was brief while Dave and I worked together for over a year.
When I went to my second job I quickly and totally bought into ‘their amazing culture’ where everyone went to work happy hours, shared pictures from their weekends, and joked around with one another. I would go grab a beer with the co-founder of the company and talk to him like a friend as I complained about my difficult client or my relationship. It would take me several months to realize these people were not my friends. They were simply trying to build an image to sell to clients. By 
portraying this hip, open, and fun culture they believed they could beat out the ‘top button’/’stiff’ competitors. They were creating an image. As my job started going south, I openly confided in several co-workers about my struggles and actually thought I could have an open and honest conversation with the co-owner as if we were friends. Quickly my openness about my struggles and weaknesses were used against me. I was called out for ‘talking negatively about my job’ when I thought I was seeking comfort from a friend. It actually took my therapist to point out to me “Tommy stop acting like these people are your friends, you give them your time and energy, they give you money, which is not friendship.”
Dave and Ben were different because I made friends with them outside of work. We did things together on the weekends and while we shared lunch and spoke at work we never really mixed the two. We quickly knew our friendships were much more than the fact we worked at the same place. In my second job, that wasn’t the case. I misunderstood a ‘work happy hour’ for hanging out with my new friends. These new co-workers were playing the game and I was being played. The majority of them were nice people, but they understood that you cannot suddenly make ten new friends every time you get a new job.
They understood it is important to bond with co-workers while maintaining certain professional boundaries. By all means, go to work happy hours! Become friendly with your co-workers and take an interest in their lives. I would even highly encourage you to attempt to make a close lifetime friend if possible but remember that is not the goal. You are at work to earn money, advance your career, and advance your organization. I believe all of those are done through building great, positive and meaningful work relationships but not necessarily friendships. So when you are getting lunch, going to the happy hour, or at a ‘mandatory fun’ event remember just because you are not in the office you are still at work. Do not complain about your job unless you know it will be received well, do not talk about how you are bored, or looking for other positions. Do not tell that story about the time in college you acted crazy or got in trouble.
In a job do not assume anyone is going to become a good friend. You can avoid a lot of confusion and hurt feelings this way. Behave in such a way from the beginning that you are respected and well liked in a way that also keeps a wall between your professional and personal life that few are allowed to break through. This will help you immensely during difficult days in the office and help you avoid major office drama. If you are truly compatible with someone a friendship can still eventually evolve, but that should be a great bonus not an expectation.
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