Tom Pevehouse – Page 3 – D.C. HOPEFULS

Finding Balance

During my undergraduate years, I often encountered two types of people: what I call the library dwellers and Stretch Armstrongs. The first group had no life other than school, thus it seemed like they lived at the library. Sure enough, they would finish with a 4.0 GPA and zero job prospects. That big beautiful 4.0 only took up one line on their résumé. When working with students/recent grads I still see those resumes. The student who lists all his/her classes because all they have ever focused on is school.

I recently found a great quote by David Allen that says “You can do anything, but not everything!”

The Stretch Armstrongs were the people who joined EVERY club on campus. They joined Greek life, biology club, student government, history club, young republicans, young democrats, religious campus groups, etc! When the time came to write their résumé, they were a mile wide and an inch deep. Sure, they were in every organization, but they did not make an impact in any of them and their GPA often greatly suffered.

Although I was quite naïve in college, I did understand it was better to work smarter than harder. I knew my limitations in certain classes and didn’t waste countless hours trying to get an ‘A’ when I knew I could get a ‘B’ with little time spent. I joined organizations but always made sure to invest my time to rise to leadership positions.

Find balance in your life so you are excelling in more than one area, but not treading water in several areas. This habit and mindset will be crucial when you begin your career search in D.C. The library dwellers often focus on one specific job and become so narrowly focused that they are often doomed for failure when through no fault of their own, that specific opportunity does not work out. The Stretch Armstrongs cast such a wide net that they never put in the necessary time or effort anywhere for it to eventually pan out for them. Finding balance is essential.

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You Are Not Entitled To Help

One of the constant and less obvious networking mistakes I see is entitlement. One of the key components of the Steadfast Spirit is the proper understanding of roles people play and interacting with them strategically. Like many millennials, I was coddled almost my entire life. My parents took care of everything for me. Although I had jobs growing up I knew it was out of principle, not necessity. My mom helped me apply to college and made sure everything got out on time. In college I was assigned a dorm, the roommate I wanted, a meal plan, an advisor, a career center, a syllabus for each class, and would get very upset when the professor did not tell me exactly what would be on each test. Needless to say I felt a bit entitled when I left college. I felt as though because I graduated college the world owed it to me that I become successful.

Recently a friend asked me to speak to an intern in his office. I spent over thirty minutes explaining my field to him and giving him advice. At the end of the conversation the intern said “hey, is there any way you can type up those points and send it to me in an email?” I could not help myself and asked him, “I just spent over thirty minutes talking to you. Why didn’t you take notes?”

The Steadfast Spirit understands that when someone is willing to connect with you and share advice, you must bring the organization and structure because that is not their job. Almost every student/recent graduate I’ve sat down with has made the mistake of not bringing a pen and paper. There have been several times where I say something like “oh yeah, my friend Ben works there; I’ll connect you two” or “I read a good article about that in the Washington Post; I’ll send it to you” only to get an email days later “hey Tommy, did you email that friend or can you send me that article?”

Someone practicing the Steadfast Spirit would email me the same day and say “Tommy, thanks for meeting with me today and thank you so much for agreeing to introduce me to your friend Ben who works at USAID. I cannot wait to meet him! Also, I was very excited to read that Washington Post article you mentioned about new aid organizations, so no need to send it to me; I was able to find it online. I really found the new studies by XYZ University fascinating.” This example shows appreciation, eagerness, and zero entitlement.

I have looked over many resumes and given students very substantive feedback only to never receive a thank you or any type of follow-up. I have had students reach out to me saying, “I heard you know a lot about D.C. Do you know of any good job openings?” They write to me as if I was their career counselor and it was my job to find them a job. I once volunteered to spend three hours reviewing local D.C. graduate students’ resumes. I went above and beyond by bringing a co-worker along with me. We helped nearly two dozen students that evening and gave each our personal email addresses. We never heard any type of thank you or follow-up from the group’s president or any of the attendees that evening. I was very embarrassed by the lack of appreciation especially since I asked a co-worker to give up their Monday night. The next day we both felt as though the students thought since the event was on campus it was somehow our job to show up on a Monday night and offer our help.

School career counselors, and maybe your parents, are the only people obligated to help you with your career. Your boss, your friends, your professors, fellow alums, and especially contacts you hardly know are not obligated under any circumstances to help you! Now the good news is a lot of people will go above and beyond to help you. Most people remember being in your place and when their time is respected they will help you!

When I first moved to D.C. a co-worker asked us to help him and his girlfriend move. Five of us showed up only to discover they were not packed at all and had not even picked up the moving truck. We spent over eight hours helping them move.

A year later another person asked for our help. We all knew better, but reluctantly said we would help. We showed up and everything was perfectly packed. The U-Haul was right by the door and in less than 2 hours we were done. Despite the fact none of us even liked the second person, he valued our time and knew it wasn’t our job or obligation to help him, so he made it easy for us to help him. In your career make it easy for people to help you! Value their time and ditch the attitude that anyone owes you anything!

A Job Without Struggle is Like a House You Cannot Afford

I have a friend who just bought a new house with his wife. It is a beautiful white house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. Unprompted he shared with me that his home cost around$750,000. The fact they could afford such a home surprised me considering they were both so young and just got married, so I asked, “how did you ever save up for the down payment?” He went on to explain that his parents had given them the 10% necessary to buy the home. I’m not proud but I quickly became very envious and found myself upset how unfair it was that my wife and I would have to save for years to even afford a lesser home. My friend went on to explain how they would make the monthly mortgage payments. If each of them used their entire first paycheck of the month, without retirement savings, they could ALMOST cover the mortgage.

Over 50% o house_poor f their take home pay was going to be tied to one expense. It hit me; this great gift from his parents was very naïve. It was blatantly apparent they could not afford this house and near certain financial troubles were on the horizon the first time an unexpected expense arose.

This gift was actually setting them up for failure. His parents would have been much better off giving them this gift when they were properly prepared to use it.

I have met with 25-30 young professionals over the last two years and I can say that only two have had a better situation than I had after graduation. When I was a senior in at the University of Arkansas I was accepted into American University’s graduate program despite not having the minimum grade requirements or test scores. Then the only person I knew who lived in D.C. basically handed me his job working as a full-time Federal employee for the Air Force.

On my first day I was making more than teachers I knew with 20 years of experience. However, much like my friends in the house they can’t afford, I was not ready for this job. This great job gave me a false sense of security that somehow my career was already set. This student program was set to give me preferential hiring status upon my completion of graduate school and left me thinking I had the whole world figured out. Well as most of you know I sat and watched as those a year ahead of me in the program could not find jobs and were forced to leave the Federal government.

I spent 18 months applying to over 120 jobs and did not land a single interview until month 9. Eventually I was forced to take a job I hated as a contractor that was unrelated to anything I had studied in school.Much like my friends in a house without enough income, I was in a great but temporary job, having never developed the proper skills that come through scrapping and fighting for that first job.

Similar to my friends who will not be able to save for retirement or rainy days because of this house, I lived in a world of false security convinced that applying online would be enough to land my second job because my ‘great first job was so impressive.’

Take solace in your unpaid internship or entry level job because your early to mid-twenties are a time to learn, make tons of mistakes, and grow so that when the great job comes you are prepared to excel and springboard it into the next job.

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People You Need to DROP!

People To Drop! As important as it may be to have feedback friends, cheerleaders, references, connections/contacts, and career investors it is also important to drop the haters.

haters-katt-williams — If you have never watched the comedian Katt Williams take on haters look it up! It has some rough language, but the point is solid.

Haters: What you are trying to do is not ordinary; in fact, it is extraordinary. Extraordinary people draw all sorts of haters. I learned years ago if you show me whom you are traveling with I can tell you where you are going.

In high school if I was getting in the car with Aaron or Chris, the destination was predetermined. I was headed towards self-doubt, ridicule, and destroyed self-esteem. Guys love to rip on each other, but these two always took it too far. They made sure I knew my place was beneath them. They were good at sports and getting girls, so I thought I was ‘cool’ by association.

As I grew older I realized these ‘friends’ always left me feeling bad. They built themselves up by tearing me down. Over the years I have dropped all negative people from my inner circle. This lesson is important for young career builders. Moving to D.C. to start a new career is exciting and terrifying so the last thing you need is people tearing you down. I will always remember my senior

Just some of the amazing new friends I have made in D.C.!

year of college Chris proclaiming in front of several people “dude, you can’t get into American University. That is where Michelle Smith went to graduate school and she was valedictorian of her high school.” I did get into American University, but that was not what I needed to hear the day after I mailed my application.

Now is the time to weed out negative people. (For more insight check out this Levo article, When Your Ambition Doesn’t Line Up with Your Friends).

Having the Steadfast Spirit means to surround yourself with good people and distance yourself from those who refuse or are incapable of being a positive force in your life. Plus, by weeding out the haters you are making room for the new amazing people you are about to meet!

Career Investors

One of the central themes of the Steadfast Spirit is proper self-management. Ultimately success will be based around your ability to build networks, but without proper self-management those relationships never grow, or worse can become destructive. Below is one of the several types of relationships you will need to develop and lean upon.

Career Investors: Career investors are people who have a personal and sometimes professional stake in your career. They feel like they have become a part of your career and feel invested. Career investors often are original contacts/connections. Building contacts/connections can become like a snowball. Person A introduces you to person B who introduces you to person C and so on. A great way to create career investors is to update person A and/or B on your snowball. For example, I met a young guy from Arkansas named Mark. Turns out I knew Mark’s older brother, and we had a lot in common. I introduced Mark to one person. That person introduced him to another and the snowball grew. Each time he met someone new he told me about it and asked me questions. When he met with their contacts/connections he always asked me if I knew them. Suddenly I was communicating with him regularly and giving him advice, I felt very invested. It was not surprising that quickly Mark was meeting people whom I also knew which further deepened our connection. Now if there is any type of position or opportunity I hear about I text him right away because I feel really invested in Mark’s career. Another reason I feel invested in Mark is because I was able to land him an interview that did not work out. My company jerked him around and ended up not hiring anyone. Mark showed the Steadfast Spirit and was overly appreciative despite the bad situation, never pouting to me. This made me feel further invested because I felt bad the opportunity had not worked out, and I still want to make it up to him.

Recently, Jake, a friend of a former intern from my campaign work, contacted me asking for advice. He had a great resume so we were able to quickly move past that and start talking about his career aspirations (see what a good resume can do?). He wasn’t yet sure what those aspirations were, but after talking to me and some other people I connected him with, he decided he wanted to work on a political campaign. Within two weeks he had three interviews and offers from political campaigns all of which came from my recommendations and leads. Jake wasn’t sure what to do because his top pick was dragging their feet and after strategizing with me he was able to get a firm start date from his top choice. In the short term and on the surface this was a great success for Jake, but sadly he missed the opportunity to convert me into a career investor. Sure, I’m still a recommendation, but I could have been both. I had become really invested in him finding a job and was ecstatic when my connections and advice had paid off. Jake lost me as a long-term career investor because three months later I had not heard from him at all. I do not even know if he is still on the campaign I helped him join.

The right thing would have been to let me know he had moved and was settled in to the new job. Then ask me questions or give me updates every 4-6 weeks. It is becoming apparent if I ever hear from him again it will be after the campaign and he needs another job, at which point I won’t really feel invested in him.

A great way to flip a contact/connection into an investor is when you are offered a position. Whether you are unsure about the job or it is a great position and there is no way you won’t accept the job it does not matter. Reach out to the right contacts/connections and get their input and ask, “do you think I should take the job?” Once they say yes you have created their investment. You can update them periodically and thank them for the ‘great advice to take the position.’ Follow Mark’s example by creating the investment opportunities for the investors.

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Contacts

Contacts: Contact are people you know through networking. I have dozens of different contacts. They are people you met through different means but with career/professional intentions implied upfront. I have received incredible help from contacts/connections, but it would be awkward and potentially unprofessional to invite them to something social, because our relationship is primarily professional.

Sometimes you can become friends with your contacts/connections over time, but usually you do not. Obviously this group is vital, but they are not as valuable as references because they have never worked with you professionally. This is why the best contacts/connections often come through references or feedback friends. In this way the contact/connection has a certain level of assurance in you from your mutual contact.

I’ve had contacts/connections refer me for positions and simply state “I’ve met Tommy and he is a great guy. I also am a good friend with his former manager, who said he is a really hard worker.” That’s the kind of reference that will get you places because there is a level of trust and reliability in their support of you.

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References

One of the central themes of the Steadfast Spirit is proper self-management. Ultimately success will be based around your ability to build networks but without proper self-management those relationships never properly grow or worse can become destructive. Below is one of the several types of relationships you will need to develop and lean upon.

References: All of you should be familiar with this term. References are people who can vouch for you as a professional. Most often references are former supervisors whom you list when applying to a job but for our purposes they are much more. Besides your boss, they can be former co-workers, teammates, and anyone else who has witnessed what you can do. They are important to stay in touch with because they can vouch for you at the highest level. There is nothing better than being introduced by someone who can testify firsthand about the work you are capable of doing. References are more than a contact/connection because they have interacted with you professionally and understand your strengths, weaknesses, and skills.

References can overlap. Tyler and I have worked together so he can serve as both a reference and a feedback friend. An introduction from Tyler is powerful because it is more than “Tommy is my buddy” it becomes “I worked with Tommy for two years and he is really good!”

It is important you stay in touch with all of your references. You may never become friends but try to stay in touch so when you do need help they are not hearing from you for the first time in years.

Go to them for advice, guidance, and investment not only when you work them but after you move on to your next position. References can be outside of a traditional work environment. They can be a peer you volunteer with, a classmate who you worked on a project with, or someone you interacted with less directly with professionally (someone who saw what you can do at a conference/event). References can be POWERFUL!

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Cheerleaders

One of the central themes of the Steadfast Spirit is proper self-management.
Ultimately success will be based around your ability to build networks but without proper self-management those relationships never grow or worse can become destructive. Below is one of the several types of relationships you will need to develop and lean upon.

Cheerleaders: The best cheerleader is usually your mom. My other cheerleaders are my two friends Thomas and Mac. Cheerleaders usually do not know much about your professional world but they think you ar spartan_cheerleaders_snl e great. These are the people you call when you are down because they will lift you up. This can be vital when you are having no success in your job search or feeling defeated at work.

It is important to understand though that cheerleaders are there for vital self-esteem boosts but legitimate consultation should come from feedback friends, contacts, and career investors. I’ve been known to call Thomas to feel better about myself so I can then call Marshall to give me some hard truth.

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