Category: Steadfast Spirit

The Steadfast Spirit is everything!

D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship Reminds Me of My Favorite Salad

When I moved to D.C. in 2009 I quickly discovered the most amazing thing on the planet. I discovered the chicken po’boy salad at Chopt. For those who don’t know Chopt is a chain that only serves salads and wraps at an absurd price that only big city snobs, like myself, would pay to eat. For nearly eight years I’ve been obsessed with this meal and often go to great efforts to obtain it. Chopt is very popular so I’ve spent countless hours waiting in line to obtain my po’boy salad. This may sound very shallow of me but I’ve noticed that almost all the people who eat at Chopt appear to be in relatively good shape. This has lead me to ponder ‘wouldn’t a salad place be filled with overweight people since they ‘really need’ to be eating salads.’ I know I sound like a total jerk, but the point holds value.

I had the same line of thinking when I launched D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship. I thought this new opportunity would attract the people who ‘really need it.’ I envisioned the person 4 years out of undergrad with their political science degree working at the mall desperately needing me to ‘turn them around.’ I thought of the college senior just weeks from graduation with no plan, a bad resume, and in desperate need of guidance.

I then started thinking of actual people I’ve interacted with the last two years. The people who were more than willing to let me spend hours reviewing their resume, giving them advice, and connecting them with my personal network only to never thank me or follow up with me again. I thought to myself ‘oh yeah these people really need the D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship.’

Throughout January and February of 2016 I spent 100+ hours creating, recording, and editing the first 15 modules for D.C. Boot Camp, the online crash course to Washington, D.C.. The modules walk you through how to understand, use, and create your own great resume and then become a master networker who no longer needs job boards or online applications. As I poured myself into these modules almost hourly I would think to myself ‘man this is going to turn their lives around.’

So when I opened my doors for business I didn’t see couch potatoes waddling in to get their salad, I saw tri-athletes and cyclists rush inside. Just in the first four months we saw three members of our group have landed jobs on Capitol Hill, a member got into a prestigious D.C. graduate school, another member has decided to enroll at a renowned law school, a member landed a job at the Department of Defense, one landed a job at Ameri-corps, while several others are making incredible professional contacts and personal strides. We’ve seen three members make it from the middle of the country to good paying professional jobs in D.C. and two others receive full rides to law school.

This is not to imply they were accepted into D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship and magically this happened for them. In fact most had these opportunities nailed down or at least lined up before joining our group. The point is the D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship continues to attract these types of applicants.

I can say with 100% certainty that every current D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship member is in a better position at their current age than I was at that age.

The overall eagerness, attitude, and spirit of our members has lead to inter-group networking, advice, and support that has been truly inspiring to watch. Yet I’m a little disappointed in myself for being so surprised. I learned a long time ago that successful people naturally end up together.

The 31 members of this group know the immeasurable value one can gain by surrounding yourself with successful people. They have each tasted failure, disappointment, and frustration and they all hated the taste! That is why they continually strive to learn more, connect more, share more, and grow more because they know they are far too young to be content.

You can’t reach a certain level of physical fitness then just start eating Taco Bell everyday; we all know what would happen. The same is true with your career; you have to keep eating that salad.

I recommend the chicken po’boy!

Click Here to Learn More on the D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship Page and how you can apply to be become a member…spots are limited!

Click Here to Watch a 20-Minute Video Explaining D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship

Recognizing Your Weakness is the Ultimate Sign of Strength: Get Help

One of the most vital things you can do to be successful is to be honest with yourself. For years I was not honest with myself. I was convinced I had done all the right things and it would all work out. I was convinced it was a numbers game and if I applied to 25, 50, 75, or 100 jobs eventually it would work out. I didn’t want to face the truth. The truth was my resume was hot garbage and I did not have an actual professional network. I had nothing but an expensive graduate degree and a job that was being taken away. I had no actual idea how Washington, D.C. worked.

I found my real strength through admitting my weakness. The first thing I realized was that my biggest weakness was not being capable of truly identifying my own weaknesses. What I did know was I was not getting my desired results so therefore I was doing something wrong although I wasn’t sure what. I learned to get help.

I had to learn to ask others for help knowing it would hurt and believe me it hurt. It hurt when people covered my resume in red or pointed out simple typos that had been on my resume for months. It hurt to reach out to people and get ignored. It hurt to take a job that I didn’t really want but it was my only realistic option. It hurt to have my work ridiculed and be talked down to on a daily basis. Yet, I persevered.

I learned to get the right type of help and feedback. I learned to lean on my feedback friends to let them tell me ‘that guys sounds like a total jerk, that is not constructive feedback that is him being an asshole’ or ‘that sounds like pretty solid advice, you can complain too much and it can be unprofessional.’ Over time it became much easier. Each time there was less red on my resume. Over time being ignored only encouraged me to stay persistent and forced me reevaluate how I was engaging people. I became a much better networker. Eventually I became more self-aware and began identifying my weaknesses quicker and turned them into strengths.

I was talking to my wife the other day and she said something incredibly profound. I was explaining how excited I was about the growth of D.C. Hopefuls and D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship , but how I was a bit surprised that not as many people who I’ve helped in the past or have been following D.C. Hopefuls from the beginning actually then joined D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship . It just seemed odd to me and I was trying to figure it out.

Then she said it. She said “Tommy they are going to have to fail and fail hard. You wouldn’t have joined something like this until you were 24. Nobody admits they need help until they have no more options.”

Asking for help from others is scary because it is admitting we don’t have all the answers. It is showing weakness, which is not something our culture allows. Like many things in our culture this makes no sense. I am 30 years old and I don’t have all the answers, if I did what would be the point of the next 35 years of my career? If you are still in your 20s you definitely don’t have all the answers and that is how it is suppose to be!

As someone who had to fail a thousand times before getting help I assure you it is not the right plan. My failed job searches and lack of a career plan began to put such a toll on me that I developed serious anxiety. It took me 8 months of nearly debilitating anxiety to come to terms (of course thanks to my wife) that I needed help from a professional to deal with my anxiety. Now I can’t even begin to understand why it took me so long and makes me sick I did not get help much earlier and save myself so much anxiety, literally.

My wife is a nurse anesthetist so she sees some pretty sad things on a daily basis. The stories that really upset me are the ones of a father of three who had all the symptoms but waited six months to see a doctor and now there is nothing they can do. The grandmother who hoped it would go away on its own and now is never leaving the hospital or the person too embarrassed to get tested and now has made other people very sick.

Pride is a truly dangerous thing. Getting help to improve your weaknesses is the greatest sign of strength I have ever seen. The most successful people I know refuse to fail. They do not refuse to fail by working 100-hour weeks or being cut throat, they refuse to fail by always seeking advice, guidance, and help from others.

So let me ask you this, why are you about to apply to 10 more jobs when you never heard back from the first 10? Why would you spend five more months trying to figure it out on your own when there are people who have already figured it out and can help you? Why are you already settling (giving up on your dreams) in your 20s?

Maybe you are like I use to be and applying to jobs in your room allows you the safe place to fail in private. Are you already settling because it is easier than admitting you need help? Are you like me and find it easier to blame the ‘system,’ the government, the economy, your parents, or friends rather than admit that is on you to make your life better?

I am FAR from perfect, but what I do get to do is wake up five days a week and go to a place where I know the work I’m doing matters and the work we are doing is historic. I am doing what I went to school to do. The thing I do to earn a living gives me meaning and challenges me intellectually. Why would YOU settle for anything short of what I have?

Asking for help is not always fun but it beats the hell out of giving up on your dreams…

If you don’t know where to start please send me an email at Tommy@dchopefuls.com and I can help point you in the right direction.

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* CLICK HERE to schedule a 30-minute conversation with me about your    career aspirations, struggles, and/or questions

Your Career Path is like Losing Weight

I wasted the first 4-6 years of my career. I was like an overweight person who constantly talked about losing weight, but never did. My whole world was consumed by not liking the job I had and feeling as though D.C. was fixed. I believed that a guy like me couldn’t make it. I went out chasing the fads. Like a person who chases every new diet fad, weight loss pill, and crazy machine, I was looking for the quick and easy fix to launch my career. Eventually I met enough people and asked them the secret. The secret is there is no secret! You have to change your lifestyle and daily habits. Every day you have to eat right and exercise.


I went to every job site, I paid a company $500 to write the magic resume, I met with placement agencies, I took online classes, I did it all! It wasn’t until after all of that I realized that to get my career on the right path there was no magic fix. I was going to have to develop daily habits and have faith that if I lived the Steadfast Spirit doors would begin to fly open!

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* CLICK HERE to schedule a 30-minute conversation with me about your  career aspirations, struggles, and/or questions

Follow Leads

An important aspect of the steadfast spirit is being realistic. How many romantic comedies have we seen when the guy is pursuing society’s version of the perfect girl not realizing until the end the ‘normal’ girl he had never noticed was actually his soul mate. There is no way to count all the times I missed great job leads or connection opportunities because I was overly focused on my ‘dream job.’ I am by no means advocating against swinging for the fences and pursuing your dreams, but sometimes it makes just as much sense to take a single and just get on base.

I recently met a guy dead set on a job in politics. We spoke several times, and I learned he did not just want a job in politics, he wanted a job working on the Presidential race doing fundraising. I explained I did not know anyone in fundraising and that could be a tough job to get. I went on to tell him I did know several people working in field offices on that race and those types of positions were much more obtainable given his lack of political experience.

I was able to help land him a field job to only see him quit a few days later. He explained to me the job wasn’t what ‘he envisioned himself doing’ and wanted to keep swinging for the fences for that fundraising job. Long story short he received a few emails from the fundraising team, but after several weeks of nothing coming to fruition he ended up missing out on this entire election cycle. Now he has no connections or experience.

My senior year in college our fraternity’s recruitment chair left school with less than a month before recruitment week. I took over and quickly organized the over 600 bios of the young men signed up to go through recruitment. As my team began identifying the ‘guys we wanted’ I had to ask them a very tough question. “Do we have a shot of getting these guys?” I came to learn we were focusing money and energy on guys who had no real interest in joining our fraternity and were ignoring great young men who were actually interested. It was as if pursuing those great guys with an interest was not enough of a challenge, they wanted to ‘steal guys from other fraternities.’

In both instances, pride and ego got in the way of doing the smart thing. Often job seekers, myself included, let their pride blind them to opportunity. They are so focused on working for the prestigious consulting firm, the famous senator, or exclusive intelligence agency they totally miss out on the friend of a friend at the new consulting firm, they skip the event at the freshman congressman’s office, or do not follow up with the person at the lesser known but equally important agency.

Keep in mind no matter where you work you are going to be at the bottom of the org chart in the beginning. I know several people who veered from their dream office to take an opportunity that came to them, and they all went on to build the necessary skill sets and experiences to better position themselves for their dream job.

So by all means swing for the fences but please be aware of those opportunities to get on base, which at least set you up to potentially reach home plate.

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* CLICK HERE to schedule a 30-minute conversation with me about your career aspirations, struggles, and/or questions

You Are Not Entitled To Help

One of the constant and less obvious networking mistakes I see is entitlement.  One of the key components of the Steadfast Spirit is the proper understanding of roles people play and interacting with them strategically.  Like many millennials, I was coddled almost my entire life. My parents took care of everything for me. Although I had jobs growing up I knew it was out of principle, not necessity. My mom helped me apply to college and made sure everything got out on time. In college I was assigned a dorm, the roommate I wanted, a meal plan, an advisor, a career center, a syllabus for each class, and would get very upset when the professor did not tell me exactly what would be on each test.  Needless to say I felt a bit entitled when I left college. I felt as though because I graduated college the world owed it to me that I become successful.

Recently a friend asked me to speak to an intern in his office. I spent over thirty minutes explaining my field to him and giving him advice. At the end of the conversation the intern said “hey, is there any way you can type up those points and send it to me in an email?” I could not help myself and asked him, “I just spent over thirty minutes talking to you. Why didn’t you take notes?”

The Steadfast Spirit understands that when someone is willing to connect with you and share advice, you must bring the organization and structure because that is not their job. Almost every student/recent graduate I’ve sat down with has made the mistake of not bringing a pen and paper. There have been several times where I say something like “oh yeah, my friend Ben works there; I’ll connect you two” or “I read a good article about that in the Washington Post; I’ll send it to you” only to get an email days later “hey Tommy, did you email that friend or can you send me that article?”

Someone practicing the Steadfast Spirit would email me the same day and say “Tommy, thanks for meeting with me today and thank you so much for agreeing to introduce me to your friend Ben who works at USAID. I cannot wait to meet him! Also, I was very excited to read that Washington Post article you mentioned about new aid organizations, so no need to send it to me; I was able to find it online. I really found the new studies by XYZ University fascinating.” This example shows appreciation, eagerness, and zero entitlement.

I have looked over many resumes and given students very substantive feedback only to never receive a thank you or any type of follow-up. I have had students reach out to me saying, “I heard you know a lot about D.C. Do you know of any good job openings?” They write to me as if I was their career counselor and it was my job to find them a job.  I once volunteered to spend three hours reviewing local D.C. graduate students’ resumes. I went above and beyond by bringing a co-worker along with me. We helped nearly two dozen students that evening and gave each our personal email addresses. We never heard any type of thank you or follow-up from the group’s president or any of the attendees that evening. I was very embarrassed by the lack of appreciation especially since I asked a co-worker to give up their Monday night. The next day we both felt as though the students thought since the event was on campus it was somehow our job to show up on a Monday night and offer our help.

School career counselors, and maybe your parents, are the only people obligated to help you with your career. Your boss, your friends, your professors, fellow alums, and especially contacts you hardly know are not obligated under any circumstances to help you! Now the good news is a lot of people will go above and beyond to help you. Most people remember being in your place and when their time is respected they will help you!

When I first moved to D.C. a co-worker asked us to help him and his girlfriend move. Five of us showed up only to discover they were not packed at all and had not even picked up the moving truck. We spent over eight hours helping them move.

A year later another person asked for our help. We all knew better, but reluctantly said we would help. We showed up and everything was perfectly packed. The U-Haul was right by the door and in less than 2 hours we were done. Despite the fact none of us even liked the second person, he valued our time and knew it wasn’t our job or obligation to help him, so he made it easy for us to help him. In your career make it easy for people to help you! Value their time and ditch the attitude that anyone owes you anything!

* Please join the D.C. Hopefuls Newsletter!
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* CLICK HERE to schedule a 30-minute conversation with me about your career    aspirations, struggles, and/or questions

A Job Without Struggle is Like a House You Cannot Afford

I have a friend who just bought a new house with his wife. It is a beautiful white house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. Unprompted he shared with me that his home cost around$750,000. The fact they could afford such a home surprised me considering they were both so young and just got married, so I asked, “how did you ever save up for the down payment?” He went on to explain that his parents had given them the 10% necessary to buy the home. I’m not proud but I quickly became very envious and found myself upset how unfair it was that my wife and I would have to save for years to even afford a lesser home. My friend went on to explain how they would make the monthly mortgage payments. If each of them used their entire first paycheck of the month, without retirement savings, they could ALMOST cover the mortgage.

Over 50% ohouse_poorf their take home pay was going to be tied to one expense. It hit me; this great gift from his parents was very naïve. It was blatantly apparent they could not afford this house and near certain financial troubles were on the horizon the first time an unexpected expense arose.

 

This gift was actually setting them up for failure. His parents would have been much better off giving them this gift when they were properly prepared to use it.

I have met with 25-30 young professionals over the last two years and I can say that only two have had a better situation than I had after graduation. When I was a senior in at the University of Arkansas I was accepted into American University’s graduate program despite not having the minimum grade requirements or test scores. Then the only person I knew who lived in D.C. basically handed me his job working as a full-time Federal employee for the Air Force.

On my first day I was making more than teachers I knew with 20 years of experience. However, much like my friends in the house they can’t afford, I was not ready for this job.  This great job gave me a false sense of security that somehow my career was already set. This student program was set to give me preferential hiring status upon my completion of graduate school and left me thinking I had the whole world figured out. Well as most of you know I sat and watched as those a year ahead of me in the program could not find jobs and were forced to leave the Federal government.

I spent 18 months applying to over 120 jobs and did not land a single interview until month 9. Eventually I was forced to take a job I hated as a contractor that was unrelated to anything I had studied in school.Much like my friends in a house without enough income, I was in a great but temporary job, having never developed the proper skills that come through scrapping and fighting for that first job.

Similar to my friends who will not be able to save for retirement or rainy days because of this house, I lived in a world of false security convinced that applying online would be enough to land my second job because my ‘great first job was so impressive.’

Take solace in your unpaid internship or entry level job because your early to mid-twenties are a time to learn, make tons of mistakes, and grow so that when the great job comes you are prepared to excel and springboard it into the next job.
 
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