Ditch the Pitch and Tell Them ‘Our Story’

Success in D.C. is centered on meeting people and building connections. One of the most difficult parts of making it in D.C. is being able to quickly and clearly articulate what you want to do. I have met with dozens of people and asked the simple question “what do you want to do”only to have them nearly fall over trying to come up with something.

I too have struggled with this question because like many of you I have a wide array of interests. When I first moved to D.C. I never knew how to answer that question because so many things about government and politics interested me. In the beginning anything at the State Department seemed like my dream job but I was often embarrassed to say that. So naturally I did what several online career coaches/gurus teach and I developed elevator pitches, which inevitably lead to failure for several reasons.

Reason 1: When it comes to initial networking most people do not want to be pitched. An elevator pitch is you selling yourself to someone else trying to explain why they need you. This is a great skill when you have landed an interview but not when you are simply grabbing a coffee or being introduced over email. Nobody likes to be sold to anymore. We are the generation that mutes or fast forwards commercials and installs add blocks on our computers.

Reason 2: People prefer to hear stories! There is a reason that almost all major religions’ teachings are through stories. People want a narrative not facts or lists.

Reason 3: My elevator pitch never worked because it was all about me! Sure in interviews I would include information about how I can help the company, which is great, but in networking I was always focused on myself. I am not the only one who has made this mistake. I know this because of the 200 plus students/recent grads I’ve met with I think only one has ever asked more than one question about me.

When Career Investors got up to about 15 members I asked the attendees at a workshop to write a brief pitch/statement introducing themselves to the group and sharing their goals.

Some form of the word ‘I’(‘I’m or I’ll) was used 42 times. Some form of the word ‘me’ (myself, my, or mine) was used 25 times for a grand total of 67 times. The words ‘we’ or ‘us’ were never used and the words ‘you’ or ‘you all’ were used 3 times.

If you do not understand why this doesn’t work think of it this way.

My wife and I recently went to visit our newlywed friends. While sitting around my wife discovered a massive photo album. She sat for over an hour with our friend and looked at every picture. I couldn’t understand why she cared so much about their pictures. Then after nearly an hour she got really excited and said, “Look Tommy here is a picture of us!” Then a few minutes later, “look here we are again!” As we drove home she said “I loved that we were in four pictures considering we haven’t known them that long.”

We all do the same thing. We love to look at pictures when we think we might be in them. I have a friend who tells the same stories over and over even if everyone has heard them before. My wife pointed out to me recently “you know you always get annoyed when he tells a story except when he tells a story about you.”

So if we know people do not want  pitches, they like stories (like the two I just told), and they want to hear about themselves, then tell them a story about themselves that lets them get to know you…make it ‘our story.’

Most of the pitches I received read exactly the same. “I am originally from X and I went to school at X. I majored in X and plan to move to D.C. upon graduation. I really want to do something different with my life and pursue my dreams in D.C. I hope through this group I can learn the right skills and make good connections to help launch my career.”

Instead, I coach Career Investors members to talk about themselves this way: “Hello, much like all of you I am still working on my undergraduate degree and like some of you I attend the University of X. Just like all of you I dream of building a career in D.C. after graduation but am not sure where to begin. I know we all share a similar wish to do something different with our lives and we share the common dream of making DC a reality. I look forward to learning from each of you and hope to make D.C. a reality for all of us.” See how the second one is ‘our story?’ The second example creates investment and personal commitment from the others who read it. This is an important skill to practice, as you will often be introduced via email to new people. Find any way you can to tell ‘our story.’

In person meetings can be more difficult.  Recently I was connected to a woman who works in intelligence but also worked on campaigns. My first thought was to tell her how I had done similar work and tell her all about myself but instead I made ‘my story’ ‘our story.’ When I met her for coffee I said “I am really glad you agreed to meet with me. Sarah says you all met at the State Department. Did you both work in the same office?”

I let her tell the story of how she knew our common contact and did not interrupt to explain how I knew Sarah. Eventually she asked me and I told her. I then said “I see you went to Alabama. I went down to a game there once and I had a blast!” She told me a few stories then asked why I had been in Alabama. I explained that I went to Arkansas and was at Alabama to watch Arkansas play there. By the end she was more than eager to help me because she was able to talk about herself and tell me stories.

She probably did not learn as much about me as I would have hoped but everything she did learn also related back to her in some way. Most importantly she left the conversation happy and wanting to help me. I was not overly shocked when she introduced me to several other useful people, all of which said she had really great things to say about me!

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You Are NOT Set

One thing that has alarmed me in launching D.C. Hopefuls is hearing from young professionals who politely say “I’ll pass this info along Tommy, but I’m all set, I landed a job after undergrad.” It pains me to post this, but you are not all set. Rarely do people in D.C. stay at jobs more than 1-3 years, especially entry-level positions. The old days of going to work somewhere and staying for 30 years are pretty much over. To be fair, I know people who landed great jobs in D.C. straight out of undergrad and 8-10 years later are still working at the same organization. However, when you dive deeper, you learn they have gone out of their way to advance themselves within the organization and have likely moved jobs within the organization several times. They network and advocate within that organization the way most of do in the outside world.

You all know the story by now, but it is worth repeating when I landed my first job at the Pentagon I was convinced my whole career was set. I told my parents “all the people who have completed this program received jobs in the international division after graduation; my whole career is set at 22!” I was insanely naive. There is no way to know when cuts, hiring freezes, horrible bosses, or simple stagnation will swallow your career.

It has taken 4, 6, and 8 months for me to begin positions after I interviewed, which does not take into account the months of networking and searching to land the interview. My current position was presented to me through a contact that I met in February 2015, he made me aware of the job in December 2015, I interviewed in January of 2016 and I started May 2016. These things take time, in my most recent example 15 months!

If you become complacent because you think you are set, you are setting yourself up for a disaster. I heard sharks never stop swimming or else they will drown, which I always assumed was not true but the internet has informed me for some sharks it is in fact true. Be like a shark, not aggressive and bloodthirsty, but never complacent and always on the move.

This does not mean always move from one job to the next, but always be looking to connect with people and better yourself. Take the long-term view of your career. I have connected with several young job seekers at the stage in their search when they have a strong lead or had recently interviewed for a job. I have shared advice, given resume feedback, helped prep them for the interview, and gave pep talks, only to never hear from them again after they landed the job. It hurt my feelings how quickly I was discarded after they achieved their short-term goal. I have learned to not take it personally; it is a simple sign of immaturity. It is always unwise to discard any potential contacts no matter what you believe you have achieved. People remember how they are treated and there no worse feeling that being unhappy or unfulfilled in a job and knowing you must start building your network from scratch.

For some sharks being still equals death, don’t let complacency kill your career.

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D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship Reminds Me of My Favorite Salad

When I moved to D.C. in 2009 I quickly discovered the most amazing thing on the planet. I discovered the chicken po’boy salad at Chopt. For those who don’t know Chopt is a chain that only serves salads and wraps at an absurd price that only big city snobs, like myself, would pay to eat. For nearly eight years I’ve been obsessed with this meal and often go to great efforts to obtain it. Chopt is very popular so I’ve spent countless hours waiting in line to obtain my po’boy salad. This may sound very shallow of me but I’ve noticed that almost all the people who eat at Chopt appear to be in relatively good shape. This has lead me to ponder ‘wouldn’t a salad place be filled with overweight people since they ‘really need’ to be eating salads.’ I know I sound like a total jerk, but the point holds value.

I had the same line of thinking when I launched D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship. I thought this new opportunity would attract the people who ‘really need it.’ I envisioned the person 4 years out of undergrad with their political science degree working at the mall desperately needing me to ‘turn them around.’ I thought of the college senior just weeks from graduation with no plan, a bad resume, and in desperate need of guidance.

I then started thinking of actual people I’ve interacted with the last two years. The people who were more than willing to let me spend hours reviewing their resume, giving them advice, and connecting them with my personal network only to never thank me or follow up with me again. I thought to myself ‘oh yeah these people really need the D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship.’

Throughout January and February of 2016 I spent 100+ hours creating, recording, and editing the first 15 modules for D.C. Boot Camp, the online crash course to Washington, D.C.. The modules walk you through how to understand, use, and create your own great resume and then become a master networker who no longer needs job boards or online applications. As I poured myself into these modules almost hourly I would think to myself ‘man this is going to turn their lives around.’

So when I opened my doors for business I didn’t see couch potatoes waddling in to get their salad, I saw tri-athletes and cyclists rush inside. Just in the first four months we saw three members of our group have landed jobs on Capitol Hill, a member got into a prestigious D.C. graduate school, another member has decided to enroll at a renowned law school, a member landed a job at the Department of Defense, one landed a job at Ameri-corps, while several others are making incredible professional contacts and personal strides. We’ve seen three members make it from the middle of the country to good paying professional jobs in D.C. and two others receive full rides to law school.

This is not to imply they were accepted into D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship and magically this happened for them. In fact most had these opportunities nailed down or at least lined up before joining our group. The point is the D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship continues to attract these types of applicants.

I can say with 100% certainty that every current D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship member is in a better position at their current age than I was at that age.

The overall eagerness, attitude, and spirit of our members has lead to inter-group networking, advice, and support that has been truly inspiring to watch. Yet I’m a little disappointed in myself for being so surprised. I learned a long time ago that successful people naturally end up together.

The 31 members of this group know the immeasurable value one can gain by surrounding yourself with successful people. They have each tasted failure, disappointment, and frustration and they all hated the taste! That is why they continually strive to learn more, connect more, share more, and grow more because they know they are far too young to be content.

You can’t reach a certain level of physical fitness then just start eating Taco Bell everyday; we all know what would happen. The same is true with your career; you have to keep eating that salad.

I recommend the chicken po’boy!

Click Here to Learn More on the D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship Page and how you can apply to be become a member…spots are limited!

Click Here to Watch a 20-Minute Video Explaining D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship

Recognizing Your Weakness is the Ultimate Sign of Strength: Get Help

One of the most vital things you can do to be successful is to be honest with yourself. For years I was not honest with myself. I was convinced I had done all the right things and it would all work out. I was convinced it was a numbers game and if I applied to 25, 50, 75, or 100 jobs eventually it would work out. I didn’t want to face the truth. The truth was my resume was hot garbage and I did not have an actual professional network. I had nothing but an expensive graduate degree and a job that was being taken away. I had no actual idea how Washington, D.C. worked.

I found my real strength through admitting my weakness. The first thing I realized was that my biggest weakness was not being capable of truly identifying my own weaknesses. What I did know was I was not getting my desired results so therefore I was doing something wrong although I wasn’t sure what. I learned to get help.

I had to learn to ask others for help knowing it would hurt and believe me it hurt. It hurt when people covered my resume in red or pointed out simple typos that had been on my resume for months. It hurt to reach out to people and get ignored. It hurt to take a job that I didn’t really want but it was my only realistic option. It hurt to have my work ridiculed and be talked down to on a daily basis. Yet, I persevered.

I learned to get the right type of help and feedback. I learned to lean on my feedback friends to let them tell me ‘that guys sounds like a total jerk, that is not constructive feedback that is him being an asshole’ or ‘that sounds like pretty solid advice, you can complain too much and it can be unprofessional.’ Over time it became much easier. Each time there was less red on my resume. Over time being ignored only encouraged me to stay persistent and forced me reevaluate how I was engaging people. I became a much better networker. Eventually I became more self-aware and began identifying my weaknesses quicker and turned them into strengths.

I was talking to my wife the other day and she said something incredibly profound. I was explaining how excited I was about the growth of D.C. Hopefuls and D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship , but how I was a bit surprised that not as many people who I’ve helped in the past or have been following D.C. Hopefuls from the beginning actually then joined D.C. Hopefuls Fellowship . It just seemed odd to me and I was trying to figure it out.

Then she said it. She said “Tommy they are going to have to fail and fail hard. You wouldn’t have joined something like this until you were 24. Nobody admits they need help until they have no more options.”

Asking for help from others is scary because it is admitting we don’t have all the answers. It is showing weakness, which is not something our culture allows. Like many things in our culture this makes no sense. I am 30 years old and I don’t have all the answers, if I did what would be the point of the next 35 years of my career? If you are still in your 20s you definitely don’t have all the answers and that is how it is suppose to be!

As someone who had to fail a thousand times before getting help I assure you it is not the right plan. My failed job searches and lack of a career plan began to put such a toll on me that I developed serious anxiety. It took me 8 months of nearly debilitating anxiety to come to terms (of course thanks to my wife) that I needed help from a professional to deal with my anxiety. Now I can’t even begin to understand why it took me so long and makes me sick I did not get help much earlier and save myself so much anxiety, literally.

My wife is a nurse anesthetist so she sees some pretty sad things on a daily basis. The stories that really upset me are the ones of a father of three who had all the symptoms but waited six months to see a doctor and now there is nothing they can do. The grandmother who hoped it would go away on its own and now is never leaving the hospital or the person too embarrassed to get tested and now has made other people very sick.

Pride is a truly dangerous thing. Getting help to improve your weaknesses is the greatest sign of strength I have ever seen. The most successful people I know refuse to fail. They do not refuse to fail by working 100-hour weeks or being cut throat, they refuse to fail by always seeking advice, guidance, and help from others.

So let me ask you this, why are you about to apply to 10 more jobs when you never heard back from the first 10? Why would you spend five more months trying to figure it out on your own when there are people who have already figured it out and can help you? Why are you already settling (giving up on your dreams) in your 20s?

Maybe you are like I use to be and applying to jobs in your room allows you the safe place to fail in private. Are you already settling because it is easier than admitting you need help? Are you like me and find it easier to blame the ‘system,’ the government, the economy, your parents, or friends rather than admit that is on you to make your life better?

I am FAR from perfect, but what I do get to do is wake up five days a week and go to a place where I know the work I’m doing matters and the work we are doing is historic. I am doing what I went to school to do. The thing I do to earn a living gives me meaning and challenges me intellectually. Why would YOU settle for anything short of what I have?

Asking for help is not always fun but it beats the hell out of giving up on your dreams…

If you don’t know where to start please send me an email at Tommy@dchopefuls.com and I can help point you in the right direction.

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What I Learned From Talking Politics at Thanksgiving (Stop the Blame Game)

I love my family but when it comes to politics we do not agree. Over the years we’ve just all come to terms with this and tried to avoid those types of conversations. D.C. Hopefuls is a totally non-partisan environment and I will not be talking politics, but I will be talking about a lesson I learned through talking politics.

Let me take you back to 2017….

As we sat around the table for Thanksgiving my cousin could not contain himself and wanted to talk politics. I was proud of us both for really listening to each other and turning it into a civil and thoughtful conversation. One thing we both agreed on was that Americans really seem to like to place blame. Whether it is the President, the economy, government in general, their boss, or their family, it seems as though for every problem we face there is someone else responsible. It is easy to blame big banks and the government for the 2008 crash (both should be held accountable) but what about the millions of people who bought houses they could not afford? What about the billions in credit card debt Americans have run up? I love to complain about student debt/loans and blame everyone else for it but nobody put a gun to my head to take out those loans.

If you have read the ‘about me‘ section on D.C. Hopefuls you know that I entered a 2-3 year period where all I did was blame other people for my self-perceived professional shortcomings. It was the Republicans’ fault for cutting the budget, it was Obama’s fault for not doing more for me, it was my university’s fault for not better preparing me, it was my parents’ fault for not having connections, it was my boss’s fault for not finding me a new job, and it was my friends’ fault for not connecting me with the right people.

There was no single defining moment but eventually I learned that it was MY fault. Sure there were external factors at play, which were out of my control, but it was on me to get out of life what I wanted. I am the only person solely responsible for what happens to me.

A great example is Dan vs me. I decided I needed to go to graduate school so I took out $55,000 in student loans. Despite working full time I never paid a single penny towards my debt until after graduation and I was forced to start repayments. Afterward, I constantly complained about the broken system that ‘forces’ us all to take out massive debt.

Then there is Dan. Dan knew he wanted to be a lawyer and gained a clear understanding of the system. Sure he would complain about the costs and other factors, but he did something about it. Dan not only worked while attending law school but paid for school as he went. He took a different path than others in his class and graduated with $0 in student loans. Dan and I both complained about our situation, but Dan did something about it! It is ok to be like most Americans and complain about big external problems, but never let that seep into your personal ambitions.

There is a glitch in every system so when the system seems unfair find a way to make it work for you. I am not perfect but I definitely blame others much less and it is incredibly liberating!

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Don’t Be Your Own Worst Enemy (Track non-tangible results)

Job-hunting is often like losing weight in the sense we are always our own worst enemy. It would be very odd for someone to actively try to prevent you from losing weight, so the only thing between you and weight loss is you! The same is true for job hunting.  Countless times in my life I have got discouraged about not being in the right job and was often quick to blame anyone besides me. I blamed the economy, Congress, my school, my boss, and anything/anyone else.  It took me a long time to realize that I was always my own worst enemy. Much like that person dedicated to getting in shape I’d get really excited at first. I’d apply to a bunch of jobs four days in a row much like joining a gym then going 4 straight days.

Then I’d get tired and give myself a few days off or worse I’d get very discouraged because I had not received any interviews. Knowing I had to have some type of measuring stick to motivate myself I would set application goals for each week and month then nearly break my arm patting myself on the back when I hit my goals. Predictably months went by with no leads or interviews. I was the person who hit their gym attendance goal, didn’t change their diet, and was dismayed when the scale did not move.

Finally I realized that proper job hunting meant leaning on contacts, meeting new contacts, perfecting my resume, and doing things the right way with the steadfast spirit. The only problem was that I once again quickly became my own worst enemy. Doing things the right way was not the fastest way, and I quickly became discouraged again. I would complain to mentors and friends that I was doing the right things, but the interviews were not coming.

A good friend of mine taught me to track non-tangible results. Sure it felt good to count all the job applications I had completed, but I needed to also count and track all the people I had met. I began to log all interactions and brainstorm future questions and interactions. I set ‘investigation’ goals to find people at desired organizations and meet them.

I stopped becoming my own worst enemy because my spirits stayed high. I was able to see on paper all that I was accomplishing and took faith that the job would come. Just like the person who would change their diet, track what they ate every day, and stopped becoming a slave to the scale because they had proof on paper they were doing the right things. That person is going to lose weight at some point and because of the habits they have developed will keep the weight off. The same was true in my job hunt because I did things the right way and tracked it to keep my spirits up the right jobs have come my way and I have developed the appropriate habits to grow my career.

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CLICK HERE to schedule a 30-minute conversation with me about your  career aspirations, struggles, and/or questions

Your Career Path is like Losing Weight

I wasted the first 4-6 years of my career. I was like an overweight person who constantly talked about losing weight, but never did. My whole world was consumed by not liking the job I had and feeling as though D.C. was fixed. I believed that a guy like me couldn’t make it. I went out chasing the fads. Like a person who chases every new diet fad, weight loss pill, and crazy machine, I was looking for the quick and easy fix to launch my career. Eventually I met enough people and asked them the secret. The secret is there is no secret! You have to change your lifestyle and daily habits. Every day you have to eat right and exercise.


I went to every job site, I paid a company $500 to write the magic resume, I met with placement agencies, I took online classes, I did it all! It wasn’t until after all of that I realized that to get my career on the right path there was no magic fix. I was going to have to develop daily habits and have faith that if I lived the Steadfast Spirit doors would begin to fly open!

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